What Leadership Feedback Misses: 5 Traits That Make or Break
What if Burnout Was a Symptom, Not the Problem?
82% of leaders are at risk of burnout (Deloitte, 2022). The numbers tell a story of struggle and adversity, but what if it did not need to be this way? What if burnout was not the problem, but a symptom of what's being missed by leaders, by performance feedback, and by the training being offered?
Leadership is not a title, it is a calling. It requires all of you. You do not put it down when you logoff for the day. It runs through your mind at night, it calls you to a higher standard in every aspect of your being, and it can be deeply lonely and confronting. Struggles in leadership often trigger self-reflection that cuts to the core of identity and worth. When challenges arise, they feel intensely personal. These moments are doorways to freedom, invitations to growth disguised as adversity. Leadership is a journey of self-exploration and personal liberation, if you allow it to be.
The world of professional development and performance feedback is mostly surface level. It avoids the real grit and depth of our humanity. It's afraid of offending, of litigation, of bias. It focuses on results, behaviour, and strategy. So when I see statistics about burnout and pressure, I do not see failure or inherent difficulty, I see signals of missed opportunity asking to be seen.
The issue is rarely lack of skill or motivation. It is a lack of awareness and language. Most development work targets the downstream outputs such as delivery, outcomes, and results, while neglecting the upstream forces that create them. In my work with leaders, I see five overlooked capacities that make the difference between thriving and floundering. When these areas are developed, clarity, ease, and impact emerge naturally. This article outlines these areas, why they matter, and how to take steps forward.
We live in a corporate world where VUCA, AI disruption, agility, and change readiness are buzzwords that imply threat, danger and adversity, but I do not believe struggle or suffering are inevitable. What if ease, attunement, and flourishing were the natural state? As Jiddu Krishnamurti wrote, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Takeaway: Leadership falters not from lack of drive, but from lack of support, language, and proficiency in the invisible causal roots that create results.
Leadership Capacity #1: Presence
Presence is the anchor of leadership. It allows a leader to stay steady amid pressure, to see what is unfolding rather than be swept into it. When presence is well-developed, leaders project calm assurance that steadies everyone around them. 70% of the variance in employee engagement comes from how a leader shows up (Gallup, 2015), as a leader everyone can feel your presence in whatever state it is. What's the quality of your presence?
A senior leader walks into a meeting where tension is high and progress has stalled. Instead of filling the space with instruction, they slow the pace, breathe, and listen. Their steadiness shifts the energy of the room. Others follow suit, and clarity emerges where anxiety once sat.
We have all also seen the opposite. A leader arrives clearly preoccupied, tense, and rushed, and the whole atmosphere contracts. Creativity dries up, small risks feel unsafe, and people start protecting rather than expressing themselves. Even the thought of Monday morning feels heavier, not because of the workload, but because of the energy waiting for them.
The key to cultivating presence is developing inner-alignment. When a leader feels whole, connected to purpose, and settled within themselves, that stability radiates naturally. Breathwork, purpose exploration, depth coaching, and comfort with stillness restore this inner coherence. It is not quick work, but it is transformational work, and the best time to begin is always now. The more a leader can be with themselves, the more space they can hold for others.
Takeaway: Presence is the foundation of leadership impact. When leaders cultivate inner alignment and self awareness, they bring calm where there is chaos, stability where there is uncertainty, and a quality of energy that others instinctively trust and follow.
Leadership Capacity #2: Clarity
Clarity is the leader’s lens. It allows a sharpened perception of what's really happening. It cuts through personal concerns, reading the true business, leadership, or emotional landscape, and separates what matters from what distracts. Calm thinking is clear thinking. We all like to believe we possess this, yet more is always possible. Clarity is our natural state. What clouds are personal concerns and ambitions such as needing to be right, needing to know best, or fearing exposure or weakness. When business situations touch these triggers, we lose our clarity. In a word, fear clouds our clarity, so fear must be addressed.
A leader faces multiple competing priorities. Instead of reacting to the loudest voice or the most urgent request, they pause, zoom out, and take in the full landscape. By sensing the situation clearly, they see what truly drives results. What first felt chaotic begins to organise itself. Focus returns, and with it, a quiet confidence shared by everyone involved.
The absence of clarity feels very different. You can feel when a leader is carrying a cloud of stress and mental noise. They react to every issue and the team becomes guarded in what they say. The leader chases tasks instead of outcomes and unknowingly passes that anxiety on. Meetings multiply, priorities blur, last week’s important project is forgotten, and by Friday no one is sure what progress was made, they're just glad it's the weekend and they can step away from this. Confusion above becomes unsettling and exhausting below.
The key to clarity lies in stillness. Yes, none of the solutions to these deeper traits are instantly gratifying, and that is exactly why they are so valuable. When the inner world quiets, our natural ability to perceive returns. Meditation, yoga, or mindfulness practices create the space needed for perspective. Even ten minutes of still silence each day allows the nervous system to settle and the mind to reset. It can feel like the last thing to prioritise when busy, yet this is where mastery begins. Over time, this space becomes a leader’s greatest advantage, the difference between reactivity and discernment, between noise and knowing.
Takeaway: Clarity is not gained by collecting more data or opinions. It comes from self mastery, creating the inner space to see things as they truly are, free from noise, fear, and urgency.
Leadership Capacity #3: Authenticity
Are you real? 62% of professionals don’t trust their leaders (Culture Amp, 2025). Or are you wearing a leadership mask and manufacturing your words and behaviour? People can feel it. Authenticity allows leaders to communicate with honesty, to be trusted, and inspire trust without effort. It is not about transparency for its own sake, but about being congruent. People may not always agree with what you say, but they will trust that you mean it.
After a project setback, a manager gathers their team. Instead of hiding behind corporate language or shifting blame, they speak directly. They acknowledge the disappointment, own their part in it, and ask what can be learned. The tone in the room changes. Shoulders drop. The team begins to engage again, not out of compliance but from renewed belief. This is true engagement, and real team work.
We've also seen the opposite. A leader who masks vulnerability or insists on maintaining an image of control creates quiet distance and mistrust. Their team becomes cautious and transactional. People say what they think is safe rather than what is real. Over time, innovation fades, trust erodes, and culture turns to performance theatre. Engagement drops, team members stay for personal reasons and not from alignment to the mission or leader.
The key to authenticity is self-acceptance. It begins when leaders stop performing for approval and return to their own centre. The more comfortable they are with their inner landscape, the easier it becomes to act in alignment. What helps here is work that explores identity, such as my True Self Diagnostic, by helping leaders realise the parts of themselves that drive behaviour. Repairing old narratives and emotional wounds brings coherence, which makes authenticity natural rather than strategic. This is deep work. The beauty of this work is that it automatically lifts all areas of life, not just leadership. When we accept ourselves life takes on a different colour.
Developing authenticity is not about learning a style, it is about remembering who you are. It is a process of subtraction more than addition, removing what is false until only truth remains. Breathwork is one of the most powerful modalities I know that directly target this area.
Takeaway: Authentic leadership begins where image management ends. When leaders stop performing and start aligning with who they truly are, trust becomes effortless, engagement deepens, and leadership turns from role-playing into real influence.
Leadership Capacity #4: Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is often misunderstood. It is not something we develop from scratch, because emotions are already the intelligence. What we develop is our capacity to sense and interpret the energy in motion within us. This energy is information. By learning to read this internal language, we begin to understand what sits beneath words, behaviour, and reaction. We are the technology, we simply never learned how to use it. When leaders learn to listen to this inner weather, they access a kind of clarity that feels intuitive, attuned, and deeply human.
During a heated exchange between two senior colleagues, an emotionally intelligent leader senses that the frustration in the room is masking fear. By naming this quietly to themselves, they shift from judgement to empathy. The tone changes. Both colleagues feel seen, and what could have been another round of conflict becomes an opening for understanding and collaboration.
When emotional intelligence is absent, tension is mistaken for threat. A leader confronted with emotion responds with control, cutting off the very signal that could reveal what is really happening. Meetings turn defensive, feedback becomes guarded, and emotion is treated as weakness. The team adapts by withholding truth, and the collective intelligence of the system diminishes.
The key to emotional intelligence is learning to read and regulate the language of feeling. This begins by noticing your own emotions before interpreting others. Parts based coaching, journaling, and tools like Plutchik’s emotional wheel help expand this fluency. As leaders become more aware of their inner experience, empathy and attunement arise naturally. Emotional intelligence is not about being soft, it is about being real enough to feel, and strong enough to stay open.
Takeaway: Emotional intelligence is the gateway to relational mastery. When leaders understand and work with emotion as information, they unlock deeper trust, sharper intuition, and a level of influence that logic alone can never achieve.
Leadership Capacity #5: Resilience
Resilience is about capacity. Capacity means space, bandwidth, and range. When we have capacity, we stay steady under pressure and return to flourishing quickly after challenge or setback. It is not toughness but flexibility, the ability to adapt, recover, and remain effective when things stretch thin. Resilience allows leaders to stay grounded through volatility without losing empathy or clarity. It is not about avoiding stress or becoming tougher, but about knowing how to meet it well.
A leader guiding their team through sustained change feels the weight of uncertainty pressing in. Deadlines shift, decisions stack up, and the team looks to them for direction. Instead of being consumed by pressure, they know how to step back, breathe, and reset. By recalibrating their internal state, they regain perspective, delegate wisely, and return composed. They understand how to process emotion rather than suppress it, how to relate to the energy inside, and how to observe thoughts that could trigger fear. The calm they model becomes permission for others to slow down, think clearly, and regain balance.
When resilience is missing, pressure becomes identity. A leader drives harder, skips rest, and mistakes endurance for strength. Pushing through is celebrated, but it is neither wisdom nor sustainability. It may be the single most dangerous habit in leadership. The body tightens, empathy fades, and the team begins to mirror that same strain. Deadlines are met, but morale quietly erodes. What once looked like commitment slowly becomes depletion.
The key to resilience is a conscious relationship with stress. It begins by questioning long held beliefs about work, success, and self-worth. Leaders who see stress as information, not threat, expand their capacity instead of exhausting it. Breathwork, reframing limiting beliefs, and building strong personal and professional support systems create the conditions for recovery. Resilience grows when leaders invest in their own restoration with the same commitment they bring to results.
Takeaway: Resilience is built through awareness, not endurance. When leaders develop the capacity to meet stress with presence and understanding, they transform pressure into growth, returning stronger, clearer, and more balanced each time.
👉 Time to open a new chapter in your leadership journey? I invite you to book a free strategy call. We'll explore where you are, where you want to go.
💡 I help leaders, teams, and professionals unlock their full potential by uncovering the real patterns limiting decisions and behaviours.
