How Knowing Gets in the Way of the Truth
Part 1: The Culture of Knowing
Corporate culture worships knowing. Expertise is currency. Your question: “Of course it is, what else is there?” My answer: “Everything.” Let me explain.
Subject matter experts become 'leaders' because... Confidence is capability. The most certain are the most capable. Expertise is authority. But, are these all true statements? Because leaders are the most stressed they have ever been, professionals are the most disengaged, and the corporate remedies being applied are repetitive and decades old. Is it all working? Are we avoiding looking deeper because we don't yet have an alternative?
This is the real issue. We want to know before we move. We want to know and be sure. That desire for certainty has become the invisible rule that runs modern work, and is strangling it at the same time. It is called living inside a paradigm, and this one is vast. It spans the globe and has shaped how we think, decide, and lead for centuries.
The mind sits at the centre of this paradigm. It is brilliant at analysis, pattern-recognition, and recall, yet it cannot originate anything new. Creativity comes from somewhere else. Mind operates only from memory, from what has already been learned or experienced. As powerful as it is, the mind is frequently wrong, especially about the future. Give me two minutes of your language and I can show you multiple assumptions ruling your entire existence that are not true. Sixty minutes together and you would see them for yourself.
When everything is driven from the head, mistakes are made, opportunities are missed, and innovation dies in meetings that may appear intelligent but go nowhere. There is no space for curiosity, creativity, or genuine discovery. We have confined wisdom to intellect, and intellect to repetition.
There are other sources of knowing which can reach far closer to the truth, than our mind is capable of. Emotion, intuition, and embodied awareness all hold intelligence the mind cannot access. My goal is not to persuade you on these in this article, my goal here is to outline a lens to help you see where you are within the prison of knowing. Reaching these other sources of them requires a shift that most people never make because it means stepping beyond the safety of certainty. Yet that step changes everything, how we lead, relate, and create.
I believe the world has reached a point of organisational stagnation. People have become skilled at repeating what buys time but not progress. Unprecedented numbers feel disconnected from purpose, an alarming numbers intend to leave their roles within the next year. Few will act on that intention, but the signal is clear. Something vital has been lost. The creative, intuitive, feeling dimension of work has been replaced by intellect, measurement, and performance that never transpires.
🎯 Takeaway: The first step toward transformation is recognising how deeply our culture celebrates knowing. Awareness begins when we see how much certainty costs and how hollow it is.
Part 2: I've Already Decided
'Knowing' gets in the way of finding out the truth because the mind says “I know,” but what it really means is “I have already decided.”. You can see it everywhere. A team resists a new idea because the last attempt failed. They are not responding to the idea in front of them but to a memory of disappointment. The conclusion was written before the conversation began. 'Knowing' closed the door before possibility could enter.
A leader delays a decision and calls it timing. It sounds strategic, but beneath it sits a fear of being wrong. The mind has already decided that waiting is safer than acting. Knowing blocks movement by disguising hesitation as wisdom.
A professional stays quiet in a meeting because speaking up once led to rejection. They already know how it will go, so they choose silence. In that moment, knowing protects them from discomfort but also prevents growth, visibility, and contribution.
In each of these examples, 'knowing' replaced finding out the actual truth. It takes past experience and projects it onto the present and says "I know". The result is a loop of repetition. Nothing new can be seen, felt, or created while the mind insists it already knows.
This dynamic runs through entire organisations. Leaders confuse predictability with safety. Teams reward conformity over experimentation. Cultures value answers more than questions. The outcome is performance without presence, progress that circles back on itself and HR teams are asked to help expand leadership capability and innovation.
We all participate in this. We build our lives and businesses around what we already know. We repeat familiar patterns because they feel safe. We listen through filters shaped by memory and absorb the emotions and assumptions of those around us without even realising it.
As I have explored this challenge, I have found a way to see it that helps loosen its grip. Knowing has dimensions. On the surface is what we consciously believe to be true, the thoughts, opinions, and explanations we can name. Beneath that sits the deeper ninety five percent of our system that runs automatically. This is what we feel is safe, and the system’s primary focus is always safety. Every action, reaction, and decision is filtered through this unconscious drive to stay secure.
But we do not live in isolation. We live, work, and lead among others, each with their own conscious beliefs and their own ninety five percent of unseen patterns. We are constantly shaped by these forces. We respond not only to what others say and do, but also to what their systems are unconsciously protecting. Without noticing, we absorb and inherit these patterns as our own.
These four dimensions, what we know consciously, what we hold unconsciously, what others know consciously, and what others hold unconsciously, shape every decision, every conversation, and every relationship. They explain why even the most capable people and the smartest teams can get stuck.
When a team keeps solving the same problem the same way, all four dimensions are at play. When feedback is resisted, when ideas die before they are explored, when truth feels risky to speak, it is the same mechanism at work. Knowing closes over curiosity and possibility.
Understanding these layers gives us a map. It shows how thoughts, emotions, and relationships create limits around what we can see and imagine. Awareness of them is the first step in reopening the space for discovery.
🎯 Takeaway: Every time the mind says “I know,” ask yourself, “What have I already decided?” Awareness breaks the loop of repetition. Then ask, "Is it true?'.
Part 3: Seeing Yourself Clearly
Once you begin to see the structure of knowing, the most direct place to explore it is within yourself. This is where every pattern begins. In your own system, knowing operates on two levels: what you consciously think and what you unconsciously feel.
Consciously from Self This is when the mind says “I know.” It is the inner certainty that stops listening. In a meeting, it sounds like “that will not work here.” In life, it sounds like “I already tried that.” This kind of knowing feels intelligent but closes learning before it begins. Language pointing to this, and begging to be questioned are statements with 'should', 'need' and 'have to'. I should do this, I need that, I have to do this.
The way forward is to question your thoughts. Ask whether it's true, and what else could be true. It sounds too simple and ordinary doesn't it, this is the trick with this paradigm. It won't even allow you to question without knowing. Remember, curiosity is strength.
Unconsciously from Self This is the system that says “this feels safer.” It decides before the mind even gets involved, 95% of you actions come from here. You avoid conflict, hold back ideas, or control outcomes because your body senses risk. A leader might avoid giving feedback to stay comfortable. A high performer might take on every task alone because delegation feels unsafe.
Awareness begins when you notice tension in your body and ask what it is protecting. Inner-child work, parts work, and other forms of depth coaching are key here. Staying present with discomfort retrains the system to see safety where it once saw danger, and helps access information and wisdom stored here. Emotional awareness is not about control, or about losing control either, it is about capacity, the ability to stay steady in the full range of experience rather than being driven by it.
When you begin to see both these forms of knowing, conscious and unconscious, you start to notice how often your thoughts and reactions are strategies to stay safe. Awareness of this does not make you weaker. It gives you choice. It allows you to respond instead of repeat.
🎯 Takeaway: The mind protects, the body remembers. Awareness of both gives you choice and access to the truth.
Part 4: The Influence of Others
Once you start to recognise how knowing operates within you, the next step is seeing how it moves between people. We live and work in systems of influence where emotion, belief, and behaviour are constantly exchanged. The knowing of others, both conscious and unconscious, affects you more than you realise, especially in the workplace where their is hierarchy, and what's at stake is your status, career and ability to afford food and shelter. Now we have these patterns on steroids.
From Others’ Consciousness This is when someone else’s certainty overrides your own. It happens in teams, families, and relationships. A strong voice in a meeting can make others question themselves. A manager’s confidence can silence the group’s insight.
The way forward is to check for alignment. Ask whether what you are following feels true for you. Respecting others does not mean handing them your awareness. Independent thought is not rebellion. It is maturity. It may happen quietly inside at first, it may takes years, many go through an entire career without ever reaching this awareness so be gentle with yourself.
From Others’ Unconsciousness This is the quietest and most contagious form of knowing. It is not what people say but what their systems communicate, this is 95% of their actions. You can feel it before words are spoken. A tense meeting spreads anxiety. A fearful leader spreads caution. At home, a partner’s stress becomes your own. Collective patterns spread not through intention but through energy.
The way forward is to stay aware of what you are absorbing. Before reacting, pause and ask whether the feeling is yours or someone else’s. Awareness creates space to stay grounded and clear instead of being pulled into the noise around you.
When you begin to see both these external layers of knowing, something shifts. You stop being caught in other people’s fears and start meeting them with steadiness. You stop confusing authority with truth and begin trusting your own perception.
🎯 Takeaway: Awareness of others’ knowing helps you stay steady in their storm. Become your own anchor, and sailor.
Part 5: Finding Out The Truth
When you see these four layers clearly, you stop mistaking protection for truth. You start to see how often certainty is just safety wearing a confident face. That awareness changes how you move through the world. You begin to listen more deeply, pause before reacting, and meet others’ unconscious patterns with steadiness instead of resistance.
This is the essence of depth work. When you make the unconscious conscious, what once limited you becomes information, and what once felt like protection becomes choice. My coaching practice and the modalities I draw from — parts work, emotional awareness, breathwork, and somatic intelligence — are designed to help people build this awareness, regulate their systems, and access the deeper wisdom already within them.
When you reconnect with your inner system, you begin to experience leadership and life differently. You sense the space between stimulus and response. You begin to lead not from knowing, but from awareness. This is what I call the depth path — the process of moving from reaction to presence, from defence to truth.
We have built our professional lives on the illusion that knowing is progress. The next evolution will come from those willing to let that go. Knowing less is not ignorance. It is the space where discovery begins.
🎯 Takeaway: Depth begins where certainty ends. Finding out the truth starts with the courage to not already know.
👉 Is it time for change? Book a free strategy call. We'll explore where you are, and where you want to go.
💡 I help leaders, teams, and professionals unlock their full potential by uncovering the real patterns limiting decisions and behaviours.
